As part of our ongoing feature of beers from World Cup teams playing the next day (confused yet?), we bring you…
Matches for Saturday June, 10
England vs Paraguay
For a small island-nation, England has a plethora of beers. We're going to pick Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout for its great flavor, being named after the seventh President of the College of New Jersey (later fancied up to be called Princeton), and for containing a breakfast grain. What's that? A red flag? After further review, we've determined that Samuel Smith's is not named after the seventh prez. of Princeton but named after the founder of the brewery. Please, no rioting.
Obviously, we have to choose Pilsen Cerveza Blanca.
Winner: England. We're not exactly sure that Paraguay is a legitimate country and have a sneaking suspicion this is just a cheap attempt at publicity for Golden Palace.
Trinidad and Tobago vs Sweden
We're pretty sure that Tobago isn't real and they are just trying to look big. This is a tough call. We really want to pick Carib Lager since it is popular and has pretty wide distribution. Just for the name, we want to choose Stud Stout. But, alas, we're going with Carib Shandy (Ginger) since it tastes like crap. Well, ginger and crap.
For Sweden, Närke Kulturbryggeri Anders Göranssons Snörök gets our vote. We love those funny little dots they put over their letters. They remind us of boobs.
Winner: Sweden. Boobs win every time.
Argentina vs Ivory Coast
Don't cry for me, Argentina. Here, the choice is easy: Buller India Pale Ale. An IPA from Argentina? Pure genius.
Proving that every country has a beer, Mamba seems to be your (only?) choice in (on?) the Ivory Coast.