A one act play by Chris:
[Scene: The marketing department at A-B]
MBA-toting Marketing Manager: We need to increase sales of Bud Light. We are losing market share to craft brewers.
[raises hand, Horshack style] Oooh, oooh, I know… We should use
scantily-clad women to advertise it to men with bad taste in beer but
good taste in women that won’t talk to them.
MBA-toting Marketing Manager:
Hmmm, we’ve done that for the past 5—no, 10, wait, 15—years. We need
something *fresh* and *hip* that will connect with the [insert target
market moniker du jour for young people with disposable income and of
questionable drinking age].
Marketdroid #2: [who
obviously didn’t learn anything from New Coke] How about we change the
recipe and make it taste better. Or, better yet, make it taste *good*?
MBA-toting Marketing Manager: [maniacal laughing—on the verge of tears if he had a soul]
[uncomfortable laughter—not sure if he should be laughing but does it
because the boss does and he hates Marketdroid #2 ever since he
“pantsed” him at the employee picnic]
Marketdroid #1: I
know what Bud Light needs: a new container. Something that says “Look
at me, I drink a beer that while not very good, has a *metal*
bottle.” Metal rocks! F’shizzle!
Marketdroid #2: Yeah, and make it blue. I like blue. I like cookies, too.
Hopefully this beats just posting that Bud Light will now sport an aluminum bottle.