Shmaltz Jewbelation Sweet 16

The Shmaltz Sweet 16 has been out a few weeks now and I’ve been able to acquire said beer. If I was more serious about my self-given title of Beer Blogger–and life in general–I’d call this a review. Instead, I think semi-drunken-interweb-blog-ramble-thingy will suffice.

According to my astrology chart this is the 16th in their anniversary series. As much as it pains me, I’ll leave aside the Sweet Sixteen jokes and just tell you that like the last four or five Jewbelations I’ve had, this is worth the time, effort, and injury of repeatedly putting it in the lowest hole in your head. If this isn’t your mouth hole, adjust accordingly (and tell me all about it or post to Craigslist missed mouth hole connections and I’ll surely find it).

What makes this special? How about 16 malts and 16 hops in 16 additions? Did I mention it is like sucking the sweet malt nectar from a nubile nymph’s nipple? Of course I didn’t. Because I’m a gentleman. That’s why.

The long of the short (or however it goes) is that you should get this if/while you can. I doubt you’ll be disappointed. Unless you don’t like good things. Which, while it would explain why you read this blog, isn’t a way to live your life.

Today in NYC, Shmaltz Celebrates its 15th Anniversary at 15 Bars

From the press release:

Shmaltz Brewing celebrates its 15th year of brewing with the Limited-Edition release of Genesis 15:15®. Happening Tuesday, November 15, 2011, beer bars across NYC will partner with Shmaltz for a one-night-only affair! The following 15 bars will have a keg of Genesis 15:15® on draft, starting at 5:15 pm: Queens Kickshaw, MexiQ, Rye House, Rattle N Hum, George Keeley’s, Valhalla, Tap Room, Dive 96, Swift, Blind Tiger, Puck Fair, Mugs Ale House, Black Swan, 4th Avenue Pub, and The Double Windsor.

What is the Genesis 15:15? Apparently it involves a bunch of ®s:

A bold and decadent 13.4% ABV Harvest Barleywine aged 9 months in Sazerac 6-Year Rye Whiskey Barrels, Genesis 15:15® is the 5th release in Shmaltz’s Limited-Edition Barrel Aged series. Genesis 15:15® incorporates fruit juices from the Sacred Species listed in the Torah: figs, dates, grapes, and pomegranates. Harkening back to HE’BREW’s® original Genesis Ale® – a beer brewed with pomegranates that were hand-squeezed in Shmaltz owner Jeremy Cowan’s San Francisco apartment – Genesis 15:15® symbolizes the evolution of Shmaltz from a humble, self-distributed start-up to one of the most creative and respected craft brewing companies in America. Genesis 15:15® was also inspired by Genesis 10:10®, a 10th anniversary, 10% ABV pomegranate strong ale whose popularity led to the subsequent commissioning of Origin®, a year-round Imperial Amber Pomegranate Ale.

Sounds like a good reason for me to stop by Blind Tiger after a meetup tonight.